my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
