You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
Randomize