Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
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