I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
