You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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