Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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