I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
