Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
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