everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
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