it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
