I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
