Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
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