Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize