remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
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