Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
