i barfeds in our rink
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
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