I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
one two three fourrrrnication!
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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