No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Randomize
