the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
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