Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
