Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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