make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize