I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Drunk walkin through police station. America
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
