Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize