Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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