Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
