the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
