She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
