Your mouth is God's brothel.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
Randomize
