I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Randomize
