$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
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