i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Randomize
