Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Betty ford says i'm here all night
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Randomize
