i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
