I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
