This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
