Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
