she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
