Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
