I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
