At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Randomize
