I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Randomize
