I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
