i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
