so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Randomize
