omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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