Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
