my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Randomize
