I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Randomize
