Is it normal to miss your booty call?
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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