That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
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