We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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