its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
