Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
