Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Randomize
