Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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