Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
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