do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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