I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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