He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
